Purgatorium Read online

  “The answer to the question, What question can you never honestly answer yes to, comes accompanied by two other questions.” Gabriel takes another bite, savoring it delightfully. “Wait, did you say something?”

  We look at each other for a moment in silence. The sunglasses hide his emotions.

  “Oh, okay, never mind. Now where were we? Ah yes! The answer comes in two questions being… Are you asleep? Or are you dead?”

  That was it? I think. I am foolish to have even sat down. I should leave before I find out that I have been drugged once again by a crazy loon.

  He repeats himself, “What question can you never honestly answer yes to? Answer: Are you asleep? Or are you dead? Do you get it? Because I feel like you don’t truly get it. Though that is why we are here. For...you…to…get…it.”

  Gabriel takes another bite of his steak as I feel troubled for what he is trying to apply.

  “To taste something is God’s greatest gift to man. I would divulge more, but time is of the essence.”

  Gabriel cuts the last piece of his steak and sticks it in his mouth.

  What’s happening to me? I think as panic sets in again. Gabriel crosses his silverware on his plate and uses the napkin to clean off his lips.

  “Now how should I begin? Let’s start with you being in an accident.”

  By now, not trusting anything I have seen or heard, I do not react.

  “Did you hear what I said? You were in an accident and I am not talking about your little shaving accident.” Gabriel eyes my neck and looks at it with wonder.

  “You’re acting more strangely than usual. Well, change can be good. Moving on! Let’s start off small and work our way up. You see, there are two types of souls that exist here: a lost soul and a soul survivor. A lost soul is someone who has given up on life. A soul survivor is someone willing to fight for their second chance on life. But you still haven’t decided which one you are. You see, to be either, you must be half dead, which, I’m sorry to say, you are.”

  I can’t believe what he is saying. I stand up about to walk away when Gabriel magically appears in front of me.

  How did he do that?

  “You’re neither asleep nor dead. Merely a hollow shell of a man. Do you get it now? That’s right, my boy, you’re a comatose patient at St. Vincent’s Hospital, room 505, where you’re fed through a tube. We have one week from today to get you back together again. Meaning your mind, body, and soul.”

  I deliberately don’t react, not knowing what he would do if I decide to make a run for it. I hear Gabriel scream from behind me, “You have eight days!”

  I stop.

  “Eight days! Eight hours to be exact till your life plug gets officially pulled. In the final minutes leading up to that eighth hour it can either be your rapture or your despair, depending on what you do at this very moment.”

  I turn to look at him, worried at the thought. I take a couple steps towards him, letting him know to continue talking.

  “As I was trying to say before you rudely made a scene. We’ll get to how you got here at a later date. Let me try and explain what this place is, though.”

  Gabriel takes out an already unwrapped candy bar from his coat pocket and bites into it.

  “My personal attempt of describing said place would be stating that it’s a soul made reality inside the mental workplace of the mind. Its purpose and functionality is to give a soul the opportunity to earn a second chance at life by testing their willingness to survive. So in short, everything you have experienced, encountered, or witnessed in these last couple of days…well it’s all in your mind.”

  Hearing those words again send a tremble down my spine. I continue to listen, just to find a way to get back to the elevator. Gabriel goes over to the rooftop ledge, reaches his fingers out, and curves them back towards him, as if holding on to something. Something I cannot see.

  “Though now you’re wondering who I might be. Let me oblige you then. Let me reintroduce myself. ‘And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord,” he recites. “And the angel said unto him, I am Gabriel, that stands in the presence of God, and I am sent to speak unto thee, and to show thee these glad tidings.’”

  Gabriel grins, licking his lips, moving his tongue around his mouth to check for any pieces of food and then swallowing. He takes his used gum out of the Tredstones wrapper and puts it back into his mouth.”

  I just keep looking at him confused, not understanding what he is talking about. I look back to the elevator waiting for it to come back up.

  Frustrated Gabriel yells. “I am Gabriel! THE Gabriel, God’s holy messenger. Ring any bells?! Why did the reapers have to go and erase ALL your memories? They could have at least left the ones from this soul-made reality world so we wouldn’t have to re-teach you everything again for the billionth time!”

  This can’t be true, I think. Angels aren’t real.

  Gabriel calms down and says, “That’s right, my boy, you are standing, or I guess sitting, in front of a pure blooded Archangel. We are super fast, super smart, and we know a few things about karate. So don’t try anything foolish.” Gabriel does a few karate hand motions.

  He is just as nuts as all the other people I met today. Gabriel immediately stops what he’s doing after he sees the confused look on my face.

  “I know the clothes and the no-wings kind of throws you off. We would have told you the truth about us from the get-go but all the times, before this day, when we did tell you, it never turned out well. We have been trying this new approach of easing you in to all of this one day at a time. Each day we break you, layer by layer, till you can think straight again. We have almost got it down to a science. It has been working much better, considering. Still needs some kinks to adjust, ergo why you are still here right now. But, it’s true. You already met the other Archangels today. They’ll each visit you again in the eight days you have remaining. I even made you a calendar!”

  Gabriel reaches into his jacket and takes out a calendar. He opens it and places it on the table in front of me.

  “Michael will give you a lesson on emotional therapy on Sunday, Gabriel—that’s me—will be breaking the barrier to your mind in human studies on Monday, Raphael will build your courage as your physical instructor on Tuesday,” he says.

  This guy is crazy, I think. I need to leave now while he is distracted. I push the calendar across the table toward Gabriel and try to make a run for it. Gabriel quickly is back in front of me.

  “Now, where were we? Uriel will tackle human anatomy on Wednesday and Sealtiel will focus on social behavior on Thursday. And then there is Jehudiel’s lazy butt, he will try to be presentable on Friday for your ethics in art class. Finally, Barachiel will be your study buddy on Saturday before the Final test on Sunday. Each Angel demonstrates a different trait that will be handy to your survival and memory loss.”

  As soon as Gabriel finishes, I swiftly run around him. This time I make it toward the elevator. The doors open as I approach.

  “We are here to detox your soul!” he shouts just before I board. Gabriel suddenly appears in front of the elevator doors, grabs on to me, and drags me to the edge of the rooftop. I try to scream but I can’t. Gabriel says with a calmer voice, “We are here to help you.”

  “I’m afraid I’m going to need your full attention after all.” I look over the edge and imagine what my body will look like after it hits the pavement below. I begin to squirm to try and get free.

  “Listen damn you! This is our last attempt to help you out. Do you understand me?! You only have eight days left! Or else!”

  I stop squirming as Gabriel takes off his sunglasses and shows me his glaring green eyes. “Or else you are stuck here forever. In eight days, next Sunday, the day of the Sabbath, your life support gets pulled, your heart pumps to its last beat, pushing up daises, biting the dust, to give up the ghost, and my person
al favorite, to cash in one’s chips. Do you feel me? No more redo’s. No more retrying. No more restarts.” He gets really serious as he concludes, “This is your last chance to live and time is not on our side.”

  I start to panic, not wanting to believe what he is saying is true. I try to get loose again. Gabriel tightens his hold on me.

  “Wait! Did you say something?” Gabriel taunts me, knowing full well I cannot speak. He looks at me, waiting for an answer.

  “Oh, okay, never mind.” Gabriel smiles and promptly pushes me off the rooftop. I try to scream, terror shaking me to my core as I fall quickly toward the street. As my body strikes the pavement, my watch beeps.

  55 Minutes

  For some reason I am not hurt. Just like when the car hit me. I check my body, but nothing is broken or even cut. I look up, bewildered, and see Gabriel standing right beside me. A coldness spreads around me as he looks far into the distance to see something coming.

  “Feeling numb? Out of breath? Like you’ve been dropped from the Titanic into the North Atlantic? That’s what they do when they’re close. They make you feel it. This isn’t one of your silly nightmares; this is what’s real coming for you right now. This isn’t fire breathing fiction I am spreading to you. This is cold-hearted truth and their truth will not set you free.”

  Oddly, it begins to snow around Gabriel and me. We soon can see each other’s breath in the cold air. I hear a screeching noise somewhere behind me and I turn to look, seeing black, hooded creatures, vaguely human in shape, their faces obscured in darkness. They float above the street, moving rapidly toward the two of us.

  The hell is that!, I think, disbelieving but yet horrified. I see that everything the creatures move past becomes covered in frost.

  Gabriel looks to me and says, “You not being where you need to be at this certain time forces them to correct the situation at hand. Meaning they are on their way here to snatch you and your memories away. Poof! Like everything you just learned today never happened.”

  I freeze, too scared to move. Gabriel tries to pull me up, but I have turned rigid and unyielding.

  “Now, what kind of soul will you be? A lost soul or a soul survivor?” Gabriel shouts at me. He forces my head around in the direction of the bridge and the billboard with Madi’s image almost looking straight at me.

  “What if I told you what you saw in the coffee shop was real? It was just one of many classic memories you have yet to see. The music you heard just before you entered that little coffee shop will play again and with it will come more memories. Don’t you wanna know what happens next? Spoiler alert! You do see her again and all you have to do is run back to your bed before it hits 60. Once you do that it will set back to the order of things and they will leave you alone.”

  Gabriel lets me go and quietly waits. I struggle with the thought of what to believe and what not to believe. Is he telling the truth? I think.

  “If you could just believe us, we would show you who you really are. Give us another chance to prove that to you! Be the man that once asked the question, ‘Do you believe in second chances?’”

  I try to think clearly. There’s been so much information given to me over the past day, I am having trouble processing it all together in a way that makes sense.

  I just need a plan—something in place for me to follow the logical order to ensure my control of the situation. But that’s just it. Maybe I was never in control. Maybe time has always been controlling me. Maybe he is right. Or maybe all of this is just a dream. But what if…

  I look over to the billboard again and think about the possibility of actually knowing her. Curious and hopeful about what might happen with Madi, I spring into action and sprint towards the apartment building.

  “Finally! Let the games begin…again!” Gabriel shouts behind me.

  I reach the front door of the apartment building and notice frost starting to cover the metal handle as I pull it open. The elevator doors closed and they aren’t opening as I get closer. I head for the stairway instead.

  As I pull the door open, I feel the air getting colder in the lobby. I slam the door shut behind me and start running up the stairs. I already feel my legs burning on the second floor landing when I hear the stairway door open below. I look down quickly as I run up the steps. I see the dark shadows advance up the stairs and frost forms on the railings below.

  Exhausted, I reach the sixth floor. I throw open the stairway door and stumble through, out of breath. I turn left and run down my long hallway toward my apartment door, reaching into my pocket for my keys. I pull them out as I hear the loud screeching noise coming from behind me. I see my breath hang in the air. Fear shakes me and I let the keys slip out of my hands and onto the floor, which is now slick with frost. The keys instantly freeze over on impact.

  The hallway door bursts open behind me as I continue to run. I turn to see one of the creatures float down the hallway with its skeletal finger reaching out from inside the black cloak toward me. My door is coming up on the left as I shift my body right to gain momentum. The door starts to freeze over from the bottom up.

  Hardly breathing, I slingshot myself and slam my shoulder into my frozen door, throwing it open. Shards of ice break off from the hinges of the door. I fall to the floor, whirl around, slam the frozen door shut with my leg, and back farther into my living room. The door breaks apart on impact, shattering itself like a broken window all across the floor.

  Frost forms on my hardwood floor, spreading inward from the hallway. It crystallizes as it creeps, beautiful and deadly.

  As the living room floor and walls continue to ice over, I look to find a weapon to use.

  I turn back towards the front door just as a reaper slowly comes through. From behind a shroud of black robes, beneath a shadowy skeleton mask, the reaper must know that he has me pinned.

  I begin grabbing books off the shelf and throwing them at the creature’s face. The books instantly freeze over on impact. I look to my watch: 50…51…52...

  I run to my bedroom and look around trying to figure out what I am suppose to do. 53…54…55…I look over at my nightstand trying to find an object to defend myself with. I take hold of my snow globe and begin to stare at it. A warming feeling washes over me as I decide to put it back down.

  I look in my drawer to find the handbook I put in there from this morning, still lying inside. A strange feeling of remembrance enters my head as the handbook looks very similar to the book that Madi had left in the coffee shop.

  I shrug off the weird feeling while quickly taking hold of it, turn, and throw it at the reaper. The handbook goes right through it and begins freezing over out the other side of it.

  I walk back slowly, hitting my calf on the bed. I look over and remember what Gabriel said. Once I am in bed everything will be as it should. 56…57…58…I quickly fall backwards onto my bed, instinctively pulling myself into the fetal position…59...60:00.

  I close my eyes and everything goes black.

  Shivering, I feel the warm, dry air blowing onto my face. The windshield wipers move at an alarming rate. Whirr, thwack, whirr, thwack, whirr, thwack! I suddenly think I should count to see how many times they move side-to-side. Was the speed constant? If it was not, I could not be sure of getting an accurate count. My vision swims, dizziness overtaking me. It all seems impossible. And what would it prove anyway, even if the count were accurate?

  “You’re being irrational,” I say reassuringly. “You’re not making sense. Get yourself together.” I breathe deeply and start to feel a sense of control return.

  I refocus on the road. The snow is now falling slowly enough that I can see my headlights reflecting on ice-coated branches of the trees and their shadows as I drive past them. I know the course I have to take. I reflect, looking up to the rearview mirror. I know how this story ends. But what if I could change it? What if I could make a new ending?
/>   I see the coin necklace dangling from the rearview mirror, the same place it’s always been. But in this moment, for some reason, it could not have seemed more foreign.

  Removing my glove by biting my fingers and tugging my hand out, I reach for the cold, metal disc, bring it to my lips, kiss it, and sigh, relieved.

  Suddenly, a loud crack from outside in the darkness makes me flinch. I lower my head, immediately looking around for the source. It sounded like a pistol, but not like the shot itself—more an echo, as though the impact came from some other realm.

  I hear a voice from somewhere outside the car near the source of the gunshot echo. The voice is getting closer and closer.

  “You can’t change your fate!” it shouts.

  I feel my heart pounding, my body heating. Sweat beads on my forehead and in my underarms. My chest is becoming tight.

  I am in control, not you! I have to get off this highway! I think.

  The snow starts falling more heavily, visibility worsening. I see an exit sign and desperately accelerate onto the off-ramp.

  Try to remain focused, I think to myself. It’s too late to turn back now.

  Once off the highway, I turn a hard, fast right onto the country road, my tires squealing. I take a deep breath and feel my heart slowing. Continuing down the road, following its twists and turns, I am reassured by the car’s responsiveness, slowing as my foot lifts from the gas pedal, the engine alternately roaring and purring. The slush and snow on the road is barely audible through the car’s sound insulation.

  I recalculate the route back to my apartment. It shouldn’t be too far, I think.

  As I continue driving, I notice the snow is blowing harder, ferociously, across the front of the car, catching the light from the headlights and obscuring my view of the road ahead. I hear a strangely familiar but indescribable sound, again from outside of the car. My heart starts pounding again.

  It’s coming for me! I knew this was going to happen, I think, feeling my muscles tighten. My hands sweat as they grip the steering wheel more tightly. Keep your eyes on the road! I was not far from home now. Just a few more hairpin turns.